Patrick Says

I’m going to be frankly honest with you all. Both of you. I’ve been phoning it in here lately. I’ve been throwing up videos and animated GIFs just to say that, yes, I’m still here. But really, I haven’t been putting in the effort this site deserves.

So, I’m giving it up.

HA! Yeah right! I MOCK people who talk about quitting their blogs. I’ll give this up when they take down the mothertrucking Internet! I don’t care if I have zero pageviews a month. I’m still posting!

So, get out your peg board and uh, write…it…down…in…pegs. Okay, get out some PAPER and write it down! I’m not going anywhere!

Haven’t done an animated GIF of the day in awhile…why not zombies?

H/T to Punching Kitty.

As if Saint Louis doesn’t have enough problems, a new report shows new cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis (or as I call them, the ‘triple threat’) have gone up here in our fair disease-ridden city.

It’s like a sparkling jewel in the crown that is Missouri.

So, let’s check that list!

Missouri

• Puppy mills
• Meth labs
• Loosest bestiality laws
• Great selection of STDs

I’ll bet the tourism board is so f***ing stoked that they want to go out and celebrate! Wear a rubber!

So, maybe you’re wondering how the weight loss is going?

Created by MyFitnessPal – Free Calorie Counter

I know that by that chart there, it looks awesome. But in the last month and a half, I haven’t lost anything. I got into the two-hundred-teens and leveled right out. I mean, it’s nice being at this weight with forty pounds less, but I’m just short of halfway toward my goal. So, what happened? Prescription drug abuse addiction. No! Why would even say that?

I can attribute this plateau to two things:

1. Halloween candy – I hate Halloween. I used to love Halloween. Now I hate it. All that candy just lying around waiting to be eaten.
2. Snack availability at work – I work at a place where around the fall, we have a lot of chips left over. And this year, we have flavors. I can’t begin to tell you how much I love sour cream and onion chips. I wish I could unhinge my jaw to eat them faster. So, there’s that.

I’ll get it back on track. I have a friend who is lending me her treadmill. This will allow me to add in a second walk in the evenings. I think that, combined with better diligence on the calories, should get me back where I need to be.