Patrick Says

Remember all those copays? Well, after you pay all those, you don’t have a lot of money left for other stuff. So, we find inventive ways to make it all work.

The Wife has a j-tube. It has dressings and those dressings have to be changed multiple times per day and the dressings can be expensive. So, how do we help this situation? Adult diapers. The Wife has what should be a patented process for taking one adult diaper and cutting and taping it into three dressings. Seriously, she’s awesome at the old-school ‘cut and paste tape’.

So, that’s how we’re surviving. Little things, my friends. Little things.

As you know, I’m into fitness these days. I walk a lot and once a week, I walk in a local park. One of the trails in that park goes deep deep into the woods. So deep that I start to wonder if there might be hillbillies out there waiting to kidnap, tie up with industrial rubber hose and then kill hikers. Know what I mean? We’ve all seen those movies. I don’t want to be one of those victims.

So it’s always a sigh of relief when I pass a semi-attractive twenty-something woman hiking on the trail. Even better if she’s with a friend. Why? Because the hillbilly is clearly going to be more interested in the hotties than a forty-something heavy guy. I call that the ‘two-girl buffer’.

Safety first, my friends. Well, my safety anyway.

Look, let me first say that I really do appreciate my health insurance company. Whoever brokered our plan for my company got us a great deal and as my wife nears $2 million in hospital costs, I can appreciate that they don’t dump her.

But seriously…copays?

You know what a copay is? It’s a big ‘eff you’ to YOU for using your medical coverage. Really. That’s all it is. In most cases, it makes NO dent in the actual bill. An ER visit can cost from $2,000 to $10,000 to whatever and the $50 I pay is nothing on that. It’s just there to make sure you know you’ve inconvenienced your health care provider.

You: Hey, I need to see a doctor. Can you pay?

Them: What? Again? You were sick last year!

You: I know, but my spleen is on the outside of my body.

Them: OKAY! FINE! Give me your wallet! NOW! Give me that $20! NOW you can see the doctor. And stop bothering me all the time. You are such a pain…

And…scene!

You know, lately, I’ve been neglecting my Google Reader. I spend so much time on Facebook that it seems I forget all about the blogs I follow. It makes me wonder if the blogging medium is dying. I’ve always scoffed at morons who proclaimed the blog dead in years past, but maybe blogs are on the decline now.

I’ll try harder to get over here and post. I could really use something to liven up the back-end of WordPress so it’s not so drab and uninviting. Like fireworks after every ten words I type. That’d be an awesome incentive…

Okay, I know I said a couple months ago that the Katy Perry video for ‘Last Friday Night’ could be the greatest music video of all-time. And it is good. But as far as songs go, I love love love this track from LMFAO. It could rival Daft Punk’s ‘One More Time’ as my favorite song of all-time.

Seriously, this song is amazing. I could listen to a 57-minute remix of it. And if the music wasn’t enough, the video is fun. AND it features a Ms. Lauren Bennett, who I have no idea is, but is possibly one of the hottest women currently on this planet. Look for her at the 4:00 minute mark. Yow-za!

So no matter if you’re a child of the 80s or a collector of nursing scrubs from Marcus, this video surely has something that appeals to you.

If not, that ain’t my problem.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go shuffle…