Patrick Says

There’s a lot of stuff I don’t know. I don’t understand how nuclear power plants work. I don’t know anything about diet pills that work. And I certainly cannot name a single member of Big Time Rush.

But I do know one thing: I hate Charter.

After Talking To Anyone From Charter

I’m not kidding when I say that I have received more phone calls and pieces of mail asking me to upgrade since I joined Charter for Internet than I ever received when I was not a subscriber in any way. It’s like the Charter way to grow your business is to harass the living s**t out of existing customers. That’s a great business model, Charter! EFF YOU!

Also, your animated GIF of the day.

I’ve been wanting to talk about this video for awhile. It’s been all the rage on the Internet back channels and now it seems to be exploding on everybody else. No one seems to know what to make of it. Watch it first and then we’ll discuss. Be warned: this girl cannot carry a tune.

Still here? Cool. So, the Internet is all abuzz about this video. As of this posting, it’s at 39 MILLION views. No one seems to know if it’s a serious music video, a parody or some kind of joke. Lyrically, it’s a train wreck. ‘Which seat can I take?’ OMG. Pure hilarity. And this verse:

Yesterday was Thursday,
Today it is Friday,
We we we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today.
Tomorrow is Saturday,
And Sunday comes afterwards.

Holy crap, that is pure awesome. Maybe.
Is this thing a joke?

Update: I think it’s a joke. The user who posted the ‘official video’ for Rebecca Black also has about four other pathetic teenage girls attempting to sing. Man, I hope it’s a joke.

Another update: some of the other girls aren’t terrible. Hmmm…

Last week, Dell had some specials and one of them was quite good. It was a Vizio 32″ 1080p HD TV. I got it, took it home and set it up. And it’s nice. It really is. But there is a problem. The DVR I currently have from DIRECTV is not HD. I mean, why would it be? I didn’t have HD until now. So, it pushes a signal out at 480i. On a regular television, that would be fine for iCarly or shopping for Caméscopes numériques on French shopping channels. But on this high-resolution monster, it’s look kind of crappy to me.

I need HD.

And of course, that costs more. So, now I’m running between websites trying to figure out my best option. I could go with Charter cable, stay with DIRECTV (at increased cost and renewal/commitment) or jump to the newly-available-in-my-neighborhood U-verse.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.

You know what I hate?

Ketchup water.

You know what I’m talking about? You get the ketchup bottle out of the fridge (which I already hate…ugh, refrigerated ketchup) and don’t shake it properly before squirting and you get water mixed with tomato-y residue. It’s not even close to ketchup. It’s just disgusting.

You’d think with all the preservatives and chemicals in ketchup, one of them would keep the water from separating from the tomato goodness. But no. There it is. Ketchup water. Talking to me. Telling me what a failure I am. How I’ll never amount to anything. How someday I’ll be in the market for hair loss products for men. How someday I’ll eventually outweigh Dom DeLuise. You’re so right, ketchup water, you’re so right…

This will probably be lost on those without children, but I’m floored listening to my son read a book. I can still remember when he was just this little thing that ate, puked and pooped. And now he can read, do math, be sarcastic, make me yell and everything else that people do.

It blows the mind.