Patrick Says

We got a Wii system for Christmas last year. It’s cool because I can feel like the kids are getting at least a smidgen of exercise when playing Wii Sports. (And before you tell me, yes, I’m kidding myself.) But anyway, the games are fun and we can stream Netflix movies over it and the weather feature is really neat, et cetera. You get the idea.

And since I was a kid, I have always loved LEGO. Building pretty much anything you want is always fun. As an adult, I bought a giant box just to play with. This was BEFORE we had kids. So, imagine my delight when stumbling across this article over at Geekologie.

Yes, that’s right. A fully-functional Wiimote that you can customize with LEGO. This is awesome. It’s better than ice cream with hot fudge. Better than free acne pills for teenagers. Better than…better than…well, it’s just cool.

If you’d like to buy it for me, or I suppose for someone else (whatever!), get it exclusively at Toys R Us.

There’s a lot of stuff I’d like to do. I’d like to lose weight fast. I’d like to watch ‘Chuck’ from the beginning. I’d like to find a million dollars in a bus station locker. Those things aren’t going to happen. How about instead we just make fun of musicians and their lyrics?

Hey! Look! Time for an installment of Dumb Song Lyrics!

Vanessa Williams won the Miss America title in 1983. In fact, she was the first African-American to be crowned. But, as we’ve talked about before, some embarrassing pictures surfaced and she relinquished her title. Rather than sulk in defeat, she rebounded and launch a massively successful career as a singer. One of her biggest hits was a beautiful ballad called ‘Save The Best For Last’.

It’s a beautiful song, but seriously, Vanessa, the sun never actually goes round the moon. It just doesn’t. That’s basic science, babe. The moon circles Earth and Earth circles the sun. It doesn’t change. Not even because some dude decided to love you all of a sudden.

Next.

I can’t believe it happened to me.
Especially when I knew to be on the lookout for it.

Yep.
Old dude who hates tech.

See, I have cellular service through Virgin Mobile. It’s great because for $25 a month, I can get unlimited data and no contract. Virgin Mobile recently announced they would have an Android phone for prepaid. If your familar with the cell phone industry, you’ve probably noticed that the prepaid folks get the crappiest phones possible. So this was a big deal. And I was stoked.

I bought it. It crashed twice. The buttons were sluggish. Here’s the thing though. I’m a tech guy who supposedly loves gadgets. And I caved in about an hour. Didn’t. Even. Try. Took the phone back the next morning and returned it. And now I’m bumming. But you know what, when you fall off your bike, you get back on. So I will go get this phone again. I’ll read the manual. I’ll work with the phone.

And I will not be that old guy who’s practically a Luddite. Not this guy. Not yet. For crying out loud, I have a tech blog. If I don’t do tech, I may as well do Epiduo reviews. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Haven’t done an AGotD lately. Thought it was time.

If you haven’t seen the original British version of ‘The Office’, you have missed a pretty good show. (In the interest of disclosure, I love British television. It’s not all guys in equestrian clothing playing sports.) Ricky Gervais, one of the series creators, plays David Brent, who is the branch manager of the Slough branch of the Wernham Hogg Paper Company. Gervais is phenomenal in the role.

Where the American version’s Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell) is portrayed as a buffoon, there are times where you feel sorry for him. He’s almost likable. Not so with David Brent. He is every swarm-y, idiot boss you’ve ever had who thought they were clever and funny and absolutely were not. The awkwardness of every scene he is in is magnificent. I would put Gervais’ performance up against any character in television history, including such great performers as Carroll O’Connor as Archie Bunker. You love hating David Brent.

Anyway, this animated GIF is from the episode where the staff is collecting money for Comic Relief. David Brent is determined to prove he is a better guy than his boss, Neil. So, he does this dance. The full dance is awesome, but someone has taken the end of it and added some words for effect. I use this GIF on forums when I want to sarcastically tell someone they’re an idiot. Enjoy!

Full dance here:

I showed this to a group of co-workers the other day. They hadn’t seen it and it is hilarious. This girl has never seen ‘Star Wars’ and so her friend has her attempt to detail the plots of all three films with brilliant results.

Definitely worth a watch if you haven’t seen it and worth another viewing for the whole Hans thing. It’s more fun than chewing diet pills with cherry cola!

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn’t seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.