Patrick Says

Seriously, peeps?

You all must be really busy in October because that top commenters widget over in the sidebar is just sad. Maybe you got a lot of wedding invitations in the mail. Maybe your computer broke and you just haven’t got around to fixing it. For crying out loud, Bob, some dude who may or may not be a spammer, is in fifth.

Is it my writing? What’s going on? Where the heck is everybody? Look, I know I’m no Dave Barry or even Chuck Berry, but come on, throw me a bone. Also, for the months of November and December, I’ll be changing the widget to the top commenter of the year. There may even be a prize for that person. Huh? Interested now, are you? That’s right.

Remember,

Glass Cutter

Here’s a handy tip for you that you may or may not be aware of. If you’re wearing a thin shirt, perhaps some Coogi clothing, and you put your phone on vibrate and place it in your chest pocket, when you get a text message, you might get a bigger surprise than just the notification. That’s all I’m saying. Be careful. Jumping out of your seat is dangerous in a car.

Unless you’re into that sort of thing. Well, if that’s your thing and you like your lady parts vibrated, shoot me an email and I’ll rapid-fire you some text messages. Just another great service from the fine folk at Patrick Says.

Recently on Facebook, a discussion emerged about voting and someone trotted out the old saying of ‘if you don’t vote, you can’t complain’. I’ve always found this an interesting expression. I’ve also always found it patently false.

The logic is that if you aren’t ‘in’ the process, you have no say. But the Constitution of the United States says no such thing. There is no requirement to vote. Check the bearings. You can’t be fined for not voting. Yet, you still maintain your First Amendment rights to free speech and free press. You can complain all you want. You can create a newspaper called ‘The Non-Voting, Government-Hating Daily’ if you like.

If you choose not to vote, you may very well be making the statement that you support none of these clowns at all. And I say, heck yes, my friend, do not vote. (Especially if you were leaning conservative. What? I kid. I kid.)

Tecmo Bowl is one of the greatest football video games of all-time.

Starting all the way back to the Nintendo NES, Tecmo Bowl has been my gold standard. It’s not that realistic and the graphics are not, by any means, spectacular, but what it lacks in that department it more than makes up for in playability and statistics. You can track every player for every stat all season and in later versions, even across multiple seasons. And playing it is just fun. Easy controls to learn and a simple playbook. It’s everything I like in a football game.

But it does suffer from some translation issues.

Don’t get me wrong. I love translation issues. It’s easy for Asian folks to go from Austin City Limits to HCG shots Austin in a translation when English isn’t your first language. The entire Internet phenomenon of All Your Base Are Belong To Us came from a poor translation. But that was way back in a period called the ’80s’. That stuff would never happen in 2010. The world is an international community free from translation problems. Right?

Wrong.

I have no screenshot, but if you’re doing the coin toss to start the game in Tecmo Bowl for DS, you call ‘heads’ or you call ‘tales’. Tales? Yes, tales as in Canterbury. Way to go, Tecmo team!