Patrick Says

I know it’s been a bit since I last posted. Don’t call for emergency assistance just yet. I’ve just been busy.

Anyway, if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you’re probably aware that I am a Virgin Mobile customer. And a pretty satisfied one at that. I like having no contract. Those termination fees the big boys charge are ridiculous. The thing about prepaid is that typically, the phones aren’t that great. But I got completely stoked when I heard Virgin Mobile was coming out with an Android phone recently. This is a real smartphone! (Yes, I know they already have the Blackberry, but I’m not a fan of the Blackberry. I’ve played with them and I just don’t like the way they work.)

Virgin Mobile has been pretty tight-lipped about the release date. Downright coy, if I may say. But I’d heard rumor that Target stores were getting them on October 3rd. I was in a Target getting some groceries with the kids and decided to stop by electronics and see if the employees knew anything. I look first at the demo phones and didn’t see the Intercept.

Me: ‘Hi, I was wondering if you guys were getting the new Android phone for Virgin Mobile? The Samsung Intercept?’
Saleswoman: ‘I’m not sure. Let me ask.’

She walks over to the guy behind the counter about five feet away. They talk for few minutes and I get the feeling they’re making fun of me because I’m on prepaid. Ha, ha, whatever, I’m not AT&T’s beaytch, so there. She comes over and they’re both kind of looking at me.

Saleswoman: ‘No. We don’t have that one.’
Me: ‘Well, I’d heard the 3rd was the date and I thought I’d just see. Some people had reported that Target was definitely getting them.’
Saleswoman: ‘Yeah, no, not us. Maybe it’s just not here yet.’
Salesdude: ‘Maybe we’re not one of the stores getting it.’
Me: ‘Okay. Thanks.’

I turn to walk on and there on the bottom shelf IS the Samsung Intercept. The phone is IN STOCK right there IN THE STORE and these two morons are sure they don’t have it. Yeah, I’m the dumbass for being on prepaid. No, I believe you two are the dumbasses who don’t even know what products you stock IN YOUR OWN DEPARTMENT.

Anyway, the phone is $249.99, but yes, I want it.

This question is directed to those of you who blog, or really, to those of you who create online content. It doesn’t have to be a blog, just something that requires linking stuff. In the early days of the Internet, when this whole thing was new, you had to tell people how to get to the next place. Usually you would use a phrase like ‘click here‘ or ‘click this for the download to begin’.

But these days, a lot of people will tell you that is unnecessary. People know how to click something. They don’t need to be told. For example, say you were linking to an IMDB entry on the movie ‘Spaceballs’. You could say click here for the ‘Spaceballs’ movie information or you could just put ‘Spaceballs’ and make the title clickable.

Which do you prefer when you create content? Share it in the comments!

The other day, the boys and I were outside playing with the neighbors. Well, actually the kids were playing. I was just standing around watching and talking with the mom. Anyway, I looked across the street at my house and it didn’t look so bad from a distance. I pulled out my phone and took a picture.

And something miraculous happened. The house look almost downright good. I was amazed. So, from now on, I’m going to insist that people only look at my house in low resolution. The grass appears even and green. The paint on the house doesn’t look aged. You can barely tell that the rails are going to fall of the porch at some point soon. That bush on the right doesn’t look like a guy who’s been overusing hair loss shampoo…get it, because it’s really, really thick and bushy. (Work with me, people.)

Way back in American history, in a time called 1974, there was a musical artist/muppet named Carly Simon. (Seriously, she looked like a muppet.) Anyway, she had a hit song called ‘Haven’t Got Time For The Pain’. The chorus of this song contained the title lyric. Which made me think…that’s kind of a dumb song lyric.

Sidebar: What made me think of this? I have a headache brewing right now and went to get a pain reliever, maybe next to the thermogenic fat burners that really work, if I kept that kind of item at home. It reminded me of an old commercial that sampled said song. Now, let’s get back to me being snarky and making fun of old songs, shall we?

So, WHO actually has time for pain? I mean, really? ‘Oh, I’ve got the whole afternoon free, so maybe I can work in a headache, some back pain, a second degree burn on my wrist and maybe, I don’t know, some rectal itching?’ Nobody has time for the pain. Next!

You know, maybe we should have a feature called ‘Dumb Song Lyrics’. Maybe this will be the first post in the ongoing series. Hmmm…

I didn’t think it was possible to whore up Sesame Street, but somehow, Katy Perry managed to find a way.

It’s a kids show, you idiot. The kids don’t need to see your boobs.
(Yes, I see there is some kind of covering going on there, but still.)

H/T to The Superficial.