Patrick Says

Steak’s birthday is coming up soon and while I’m not getting him an Xbox 360 (he’s three), I do want to get him something nice. The key is to make sure the approximate value is equal to The Oldest’s birthday back in April. That gives you a ballpark figure to work with.

So, what do you get a soon-to-be four-year-old these days?

No, seriously, what do you get him? I need some suggestions people. Get on it in the comments. Help a brother out. He likes Spider-Man a lot. And anything Star Wars-related.

You know what? The more I think about, the more he needs a bike.

I’ll take your suggestions regardless. Thanks.

I am a coward.

I know this.

I should answer the phone. When it rings. And the caller ID says ‘toll free call’ or ‘unknown name’. And I know it’s not a salesman calling with term life insurance rates or one of those police groups wanting a donation. I know who it is. And I should answer. But I can’t. I can’t talk to them. They don’t want to hear what I have to tell them. Everybody’s struggling, but we’re in pretty deep here.

Couldn't even afford to buy this clipart. (Sorry, iStockphoto.)

The literature all says they want to work it out with you. They want to find a way to help you and still get their money.

My experience has been different. They just want their money. They don’t really give a crap if you don’t have it. That’s not their problem.

So I keep not answering the phone. Maybe I’ll get that thing disconnected.

Yeah. Maybe that’s the answer…

I don’t normally do memes, but this one seems interesting. So, for your pleasure, Microfiction Monday! From the creator’s site:

“Microfiction” means the shortest of short stories. Think Aesop’s fables, comic strips, or even jokes: complete stories that can be told in under a minute. For this game, the limit is a tweetable 140 characters or fewer. Every Sunday evening I’ll post my own ‘microfiction’ inspired by a photo or illustration, and invite you to do the same.

I’m stoked! Let’s jump right into the first one!

Looking through the rear window, I knew I could never go back to Coolville. It’s true what they say: you can only eat your family once.

My friend EDW Liz, back when she was blogging (ha!), wrote a post about using one’s real name versus using a pseudonym on one’s blog. She makes some interesting points. Enough that I thought I would write a post about the same subject and my own thinking on the matter.

I’ve always used Patrick D. for as much of my online activity as possible. In the beginning, due mostly to paranoia, I guarded my last name and the names of those around me very strictly. Especially with my kids. Even today, you’ll draw my ire if you post something with my kids names on the Internet. They aren’t old enough to decide how much privacy they are willing to sacrifice, so I go to some pains to limit their exposure.

In fact, I would say that if you use a pseudonym long enough, you might actually create some brand recognition. Like Dooce, for example. That’s not her real name, but it’s far more widely known than her real name. So maybe that’s a reason to stick with a fake name. (Although technically, mine isn’t a fake name. My first name is Patrick and my last name starts with a D.)

Facebook is probably the one exception. My last name is clearly displayed. By choice, mind you. I use Facebook as my haven on the Internet. I only friend people I actually know and I have my privacy settings at levels I’m comfortable with.

But here’s the truth: my last name just isn’t that big a secret. Anyone with even a smidgen of tech-savvy could find my last name in under thirty seconds. It’s just that easy, these days. So, if you find it, good on you. That piece of information and $1.25 will maybe get you a cup of coffee and an RV insurance quote. But leave my kids out of it.

So, Gizmodo did an article about Nmap. Nmap decided to make a visual representation of the top 300,000 websites, based on Alexa traffic. And, YES, I am on it. (I’m not going to pass out cigars or anything, but I am proud to be there.) Yes, it’s teeny tiny. But it’s on there.

Survey database lookup: The icon is at (17.460, 12.673) and is 16 × 16 pixels.

It’s from back when I was using the orange slice for my favicon. I had a whole ‘squeezing the humor out of everyday life’ concept back when life actually had some humor in it. But I’m on there! W00t! (Click the image below to see the section with my favicon in it. The whole image is far too large to find my tiny site on it.)