Patrick Says

Let me make this clear upfront: I don’t want to disparage Taco Bell employees. Really. I don’t. But I have some serious concerns about Taco Bell selling shrimp tacos. The Wife and MANY, many other people I know have shellfish allergies. Any contact, even with the residue of shellfish, can send them into an anaphylactic reaction. It’s not a good thing.

I really hope that Taco Bell is taking serious precautions with this stuff. Because I’m not confident that seventeen-year-old kids making minimum wage really understand the concept of commingling they way a regular chef might.

And that’s scary.

If you’re dining there, you might want to get a life insurance quote before you take that first bite. Just saying…

If I ever have surgery on my stomach, I don’t know because of a leak or an overdose on top rated diet pills, I always seem to imagine it’s kind of like that scene in ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ when Han Solo uses Luke Skywalker’s lightsaber to cut open that tauntaun and the guts all come sloshing out. That right there is how I imagine it would look when the doctor uses his scalpel to cut me open.

Yep. I’m fat.

Here’s an example of how Twitter and micro-blogging can fail.

On the morning drive into work between PSAs and ads for car insurance online, I heard a DJ talking about a new merit badge the Cub Scouts are offering for playing video games. As you can imagine, he was outraged. However, there is so much wrong with the first sentence of this paragraph that changes the entire dynamic of the story. But I’m guessing the DJ got the story from Twitter or just saw a headline.

Because if you actually read the story, you find out it’s for a pin, not a merit badge and that the whole concept is actually very well designed. The kids learn about video games and rating systems and their importance. They price and compare systems and games. They learn about properly managing their time to get important tasks accomplished and still have time for video games (that’s a feat I haven’t even figured out).

So, next time your panties are all up in a bunch about a headline you just saw, try READING the actual article before you fly off the handle.

I read the ‘Liberty Meadows’ comic strip. This one caught my eye.

The interesting part is that her boob hangs over the ‘to be continued’ bar.

This caffeine addiction is becoming a real problem.

Last night, after I got the boys to bed, I sat down on the couch and promptly fell asleep. It was about 9pm. When I awoke at about 3am, I had a pretty nasty headache. This was the third or fourth time in a week that this scenario has played out. I think the problem is that in most of these cases, my last Diet Coke was in the afternoon. In fact yesterday, I drank no Diet Coke which probably explains the severity of this morning’s headache.

I’d like to break this habit, but man, I love me some Diet Coke. Like shopping for insurance online, dumping this habit could save me money and pain in the long run. I just don’t want to try.

UPDATE: I just realized that I misquoted the lyric above from K’s Choice. Because the URL is recorded somewhere else, I can’t change it. I can change the actual title though.

UPDATE: And I just did.