Patrick Says

So, Thursday afternoon, President Obama used a phrase that confused some people. He said “There’s something about August going into September where everybody in Washington gets all wee-weed up. I don’t know what it is. But that’s what happens.”

Some conservatives decided to run with this one and make fun of the President. Which is fine. It’s a free country. (As it turns out, it apparently means ‘nervous for no reason’ according to Press Secretary Gibbs.)

But do you conservatives remember your guy? The one who couldn’t utter three words without a pause. Stroke victims gave better speeches than George W. Bush gave. Seriously, he was so incompetent in front of a mike that folks built AN ENTIRE WEBSITE AROUND THE IDEA. At least my guy can string together nouns, adjectives and verbs and make coherent sentences.

Check out these gems from the master, W.:

“It’s in the interest of — uhh — uhh, long-term peace in the world that we — uhh — work for a free and secure and peaceful Iraq. A peeance, freeance secure Iraq in the midst of the Middle East will have enormous historical impact.”

“We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are gettin’ out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their — their love with women all across this country.”

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once — shame on — shame on you. You fool me, you can’t get fooled again.”

You better be careful when you go down that grammar and jargon road. We got a treasure trove of stuff from that last guy.

Possibly NSFW, or least kids, as Stewie does get a little ‘aggresive’. This is actually a re-dubbing of an earlier episode, in case the animation looked familiar to you.

This is just awesome. If you don’t ‘get’ the humor here, don’t sweat it. If you do, you’ll think it’s hilarious. Awesome.

Either way, the song is very catchy.

I work for a not-for-profit. And we have a program for when people die, you can send us money and we send a nice card.

You get the idea.

So, sometimes when people send in their money, they send in the obituary from the newspaper or they send in what looks like a trading card. Up until last week, they always had a picture of a saint or something on one side and the person’s info on the other side.

But on this person, we got two cards from different donors. And there was a different picture on the two cards. Like collectibles. COLLECT ALL FOUR! How cool would that be? It’d give people something to do at the funeral besides stand around and boo-hoo.

Mourner #1: Anyone got the trees and roadside bench?
Mourner #2: I got that! Trade for the river with a goose?
Mourner #1: Deal!

So, at my funeral, I want trading cards. I’m thinking either stuff by Patrick Nagel or pin-up art from Gil Elvgren. Both of these guys were awesome.

So, we have the games, the music and maybe to finish it up, we get some cardboard displays of my heroes and scatter them around the room. More on that later.

What kind of growth hormones are they putting in the water over in the town of Alton, IL? School district employees are getting way too hands-y with the students. As reported yesterday, the Alton High School band director was just arrested and charged with having sex with a 16-year-old female student. What makes it crazier is that the person this guy replaced was fired for inappropriate touching of a female student.

I just don’t get it.

Alton High School band members try out the new, more conservative band uniforms.

(Just for the record, this is a picture of employees at a new themed restaurant down here in Arnold. I pulled it from the Arnold-Imperial Leader. I have no idea what the band uniforms look like in Alton. Also for the record, I do not condone adults sleeping with 16-year-old girls, no matter how ‘grown-up’ they say they are.)