Patrick Says

As I’ve mentioned before, we have some words we don’t use around the house and the kids are expressly prohibited from using. So, in the car, when Katy Perry’s latest comes on, the lyrics say:

‘Shut up and put your money where your mouth is…’

From the back, the oldest yells, ‘Daddy, she said a bad word!’ In this case, he is referring to ‘shut up’.

‘Yes, she did, son. Katy Perry needs a timeout…and a spanking…a good…long…spanking…’

Fortunately, after receiving the satisfaction of being right, my son had already moved on to other thoughts before the back end of that sentence ever made it to his ears.

On the subject of Ms. Perry, I find it hilarious when male friends of mine ask if I heard Katy broke up with her boyfriend recently. And they say it in a way, like NOW they have a chance with her, because that was the one thing. Not the distance or them being ugly or her being rich and famous and beautiful. Nope, the boyfriend was the only thing keeping them apart.

Here’s something weird. I was surfing this evening looking for a bar a friend described and using Google with the ultra-cool Street View. Anyway, I go and look at there’s a bus in the shot. It was a bus that has that full image coverage, usually for mesothelioma lawyers or Western Union or such. This bus was for my46 and featured the cast of ‘Scrubs’ on the side. Except that Sarah Chalke was blurred out. I’m going to assume the bus had her image fine and Google had to blur it.

But why?

Did Google have to approach all the people pictured and get individual clearances? If so, that seems incredibly inefficient. Wouldn’t they have just had to ask the producers of ‘Scrubs’? And if so, wouldn’t that be everybody on the show?

Weird.

Here’s the picture if you’re interested.

The wife and I were driving in the car somewhere the other day and for whatever reason, the subject of defunct restaurant chains came up. I was wowing Jen with my vast knowledge of fast food chains that have been long out of business.

I was able to come up with five right off the top of my head. How many of these do you remember? Can you add some? Put them in the comments!

1. Zantigo – Zantigo was a competitor to Taco Bell in the midwest until the mid-80s. They had the most awesome chili cheese burrito. That’s all I really remember about that place.
2. Burger Chef – After Burger Chef went under, it became what is Hardees today. This chain went down when I was really young because all I remember was their Ronald McDonald rival was Burger Chef Jeff.
3. Naugles – Jen initially thought this was Del Taco, which is still in business. No. Naugles was a restaurant with two menus. One was standard American fare and the other was Mexican. (On a side note, Del Taco is apparently so nasty it’s the best diet pills money can buy. I have never eaten there.)
4. Arthur Treacher’s – Wow. Apparently…not out of business.
5. I can’t remember the last one. Might have been Zipp’s or Shoney’s?

What do you got?

I can’t believe I let Todd Jordan talk me into doing stupid New Years Resolutions back in January. Looking back on them now, they look like a friggin’ to-do list.

Here they are again, in case you forgot:

1. Don’t die.
2. Stay employed.
3. Don’t lose the house.

So, one of them is almost guaranteed by the end of the summer. Another one is well on its way. Which just leaves not dying.

Great.

So I have to look forward to a heart attack in October or being crushed to death by a defective plasma tv mount or being eaten by wolverines.

Neat.

When I bought this house about five years ago, I used a mortgage company that just did the mortgage and then sold the loan to a different bank for management. At the time, they sold it to Regions, which is a pretty established bank here in the Midwest. (Maybe in your area too…I don’t know, I only live here.)

Anyway, everything was fine with Regions for a few years and then they sold me to a company called Everhome, whom I had never heard of. I didn’t really mind since the only interaction I had previously with my mortgage company was to send them a payment.

So, in the last twelve months, things have been going wrong and we’ve been struggling (you know that story already). Now I need some relief, so I call Everhome. And I’m told they can’t really do anything for me unless I’m two payments behind.

For realz?

So, I’m the moron because I’m trying to avoid problems before it gets to the bad place. This doesn’t seem like a good sign.

Zip forward to last month. The struggling is only getting worse. Everhome calls because the mortgage is a smidge late. I tell them I’m having trouble. The woman offers to send some loan modification paperwork which should be there in a couple days. That was three weeks ago…

You don’t have to beat me over the head with some Grohe faucets to know this may not be the best mortgage company to have.

Then, to add insult to injury, I get a mailer today featuring a ‘win a free mortgage payment contest’ from Everhome.

Dear gosh, is this my loan modification paperwork???