Really, Dogs?
The other day at work, a friend and I were discussing animals and stuff. It reminded me of a great story (in my opinion) from back around the turn of the millennium. My niece, who is a musician, had a gig on December 31st, 1999. Remember Y2K? How many people seemed to think that it was end of the world. Well, my niece was concerned for her six or seven dogs and asked me and The Girlfriend to house-sit for her that night.
You know, that world ending stuff reminds me of a good side story. My friend Becca and I were in a Walgreens in December 1999. I was buying a 24 pack of batteries. We get to the counter and they have these lanyards with slogans around the cloth lanyard part. One said Y2K. I commented to Becca something along the lines of ‘Hey, Y2K.’ The woman behind the register looks at us with this distant, vacant scare and delivers this monotone line, ‘It’s the end of the world.’ Completely delivered straight like she really believes it. I look at my battery purchase and mutter, ‘Crap! Why am I buying the 24-pack?’
But back to the dogs. So, the evening is uneventful and we decide to retire for the night. We go the bedroom, hop into bed and turn the lights out. It was quiet for about five seconds. What commenced next I can only compare to the sound of a pornographic film without any musical soundtrack. To use a line from comedian Dave Attell, ‘it sounds like a boot stuck in mud, only wetter.’ I have never heard that much sucking and slurping from, well, anything. It was beyond disgusting.
The Girlfriend freaked out. Lights on. Dogs out! Go! Door closed. Phew!
Listen, animals. Look, I’m happy for you that you can lick your own genitals. I’m sure it’s never a dull moment when you have that skill. I just don’t need to hear it.
October 28th, 2008 at 12:05 am
I feel bad now, I don’t specifically remember us being in a Walgreens together! I believe you, I just don’t remember. Good story though. I don’t remember the lady either, it was almost 10 years ago though. I’ve slept since then.
BeccA’s Buzzs last blog post…Give Me Five Monday Meme #39
October 28th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
It wasn’t that memorable of a day. Well, maybe to crazy lady behind the counter, but otherwise not that memorable.
October 28th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Ugh, and I agree for the dogs.
Y2K wackiness, one of the great story-generating times in our lives. I talked to one man who old me that he had more than 100 five-gallon containers of kerosene in his basement. All I could think of was his house shooting over 100 feet straight up after some sort of unfortunately incident. I was way more afraid of his house than Y2K.
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November 2nd, 2008 at 11:54 pm
If you needed a generator, January 2, 2000, was the day to buy one secondhand as all the people realized that everything was going to work fine. I think one ATM in Ohio actually broke…