Patrick Says

Awhile back, I mentioned that my FM transmitter had been stolen out of my car…again. Anyway, since that time, I have yet to replace it.

So, I’ve been driving with my earbuds in. Yes, I know. But let me tell you this; I’m ten times safer than almost all out of you. And I’ll tell you why in this simple bullet list:

• I’m looking everywhere constantly.

Okay, that was only one bullet point. But check this. I’m constantly watching EVERYTHING. I’m looking for cops, people who might call the cops and watching traffic like an eagle to make sure I don’t wreck.

Still think I’m a menace? Well, here’s a list of crap that’s legal to do while driving. And all of these are way more dangerous:

• Eating a hamburger. Please, food in your mouth and driving with one hand. Accident waiting to happen.
• Putting on makeup. Yeah, I said it. You do this all the time and think nothing of it. Guess what? That’s right. Accident waiting to happen.
• Getting a hummer from the wife. It happens…(I hear). How are you concentrating on the road with one eye half-closed and both hands grabbing the steering wheel like vise grips. That’s right. Say it with me…accident waiting to happen.

So get off my back. I’ll order the FM transmitter this week. Okay? Happy now?

Possibly related posts:

1. I Can’t Drive…
2. Just Tragic…

This entry was posted on Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 12:24 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.