Patrick Says

I was driving home from work last week and ‘Loveline’, with the great Dr. Drew, was on the Point…at least I think it was the Point. Someone will correct me, I’m sure. Anyway, it reminded of way back when ‘Loveline’ was on MTV with then co-host, Adam Carolla.

I used to watch that show pretty regular and it was pretty good for a laugh or the occasional jaw-dropping scenario. I remember one episode so specifically I can tell you about here. Gather round, kids…

So, the show was always in the question-answer format and frequently, they would use people in the audience for these questions. And the question went to this smoking hot, possibly Asian or some kind of Latino woman in her early twenties. Her question that she wanted to pose was that she had a new man she wanted to work into her ‘team’ (for sexual relations) and she wanted Dr. Drew to give her advice on settling the newbie down.

Eeeerrrr! Back that up! Did she say ‘team’? Yes, my friends, she said ‘team’. Now Dr. Drew’s next question to her was what did she mean by ‘team’. She explained that she had a fair amount of guys she was banging on a regular basis. I don’t remember Dr. Drew’s next question, but I know what mine would be…

‘Exactly, how many penises are in you right now? I mean, I don’t see anyone standing around you, but maybe dude is really skinny and fits completely behind you. At the bare minimum, how many devices are there inside you right now? Because believe me, I’m sure someone has invented the sexual toy underwear you can wear all day. Maybe newbie is nervous cause you have sex with a ‘team’ and he’s pretty sure an STD is playing shortstop on that team? Seriously, do they have uniforms? God, I hope they have a group rate health plan. But seriously, let’s just call a skank a skank. It’s okay to be a skank, but for crying out loud, don’t pretend you’re the manager of some team when player drills just involve you opening and closing your legs for 4-9 minutes at a go.’

I’m just saying…

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 13th, 2008 at 9:19 pm and is filed under Randomness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.