Things To Not Do At Walgreens…
Here’s a quick tip if you’re heading out to Walgreens to pick up a prescription. DO NOT get a Snickers Ice Cream Bar and then head back to pick up that script. Don’t do it. Just forget it.
Why?
Because by the time you get to pay for the bar and eat it, it will be a bag of liquid brown goo. Instead, eat it while you wait in line for the prescription and just pay for it two hours later, when you get to the head of the line.
Why is it every time I go to Walgreens, there’s a line? It could be 5pm on a Friday or just as easily, it could be 2am on Wednesday…always a line. I have two possible theories for this:
- We, as a culture, are getting sicker. I blame this on the anti-bacterial bull so many people swear by. I think these soaps just weaken your immune system. Our grandparents ate raw ground beef on bread. For a snack! Raw hamburger! Today, our immune systems couldn’t fight off Andy Kaufman. Right now, I’ll bet, one out of every four people you know, is sick.
- The other theory is that we have so many drugs that we treat everything in the world. Hell, we’re even treating made-up diseases like Restless Legs Syndrome, Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder or even scurvy. Where does it end? You know the drug companies aren’t jumping to limit advertisements for these drugs. Every other commercial these days is for Tramadozaleac.
‘Ask your doctor. Side effects may include gas, loose stools, anal leakage and possibly death. Your side effects may vary.’
(If you suffer from RLS, it’s just a joke. Don’t send me hate email. If you suffer from PGAD, you probably can’t sit still long enough to send me hate email. If you suffer from scurvy, get back to the 1700s and eat some citrus, for crying out loud.)
February 3rd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Hmmm…I’ve never been in a Walgreen’s despite their increasing businesses around here. But if I do, I’ll try to notice how many people are in there.
Welcome back.
February 3rd, 2008 at 8:46 pm
This is why I stopped going to Rite Aid. I could have an Rx for 3 pills and have to wait over an hour. I’d stand there watching the pharmacist pretend like he was working, while Billy Bob and Bobby Sue who barely got through high school count out the pills I’m supposed to put in my body. So, I switched to Sam’s Club. I’ve never had to wait over 15 minutes and that’s in the middle of the day.
February 4th, 2008 at 12:08 am
Restless genital syndrome is real and it afflicts millions of celebrities. Shame on you for making light on their medical problems! Shameful, I say. Shame on you!
February 4th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Oh god, I know exactly what you mean! Last time I was in a situation like this I had to wait for 90 minutes surrounded by old, coughing people. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against old people, but when there are like 4 of them within a yard of me and each one is coughing all the time …. well it worries me a bit
February 4th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Persistant Genital Arousal? So, if you can’t get it up, they have creams and pills and if you can get it up they also have pills creams and surgery.
I don’t know anybody with Scurvy or Restless Leg Syndrome.
And I think I know why my Genital Arousal is “Persistant” (cause nobody’s paying enough attention to my genitals of course)
My partner will do that in Walgreens, pick up a soda or whatever and then consume it while waiting.
I hate Walgreens.
February 4th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
‘Restless genital syndrome is real and it afflicts millions of celebrities.’
Herb, that is so true. I am sorry for making fun of this syndrome and its devasting complications. Does fiddling with my junk count me among the sufferers?
Reminds me of the joke about the doctor and his patient. The doctor asks if the patient suffers from premature ejaculation. The patients says ‘I wouldn’t say suffer.’
Wakka wakka wakka. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.