Patrick Says

Okay, so I suppose I should post the winners for round #2 and make it official. Congratulations to Elisha Cuthbert, Kate Winslet, Gabrielle Union and Rogue. You’re all through to round #3.

The round #3 matchups will be announced shortly.

So, I’m a little short on ideas tonight. What can I say? Sometimes it’s feast or famine. Apparently, tonight it’s famine. How about a shameless plug for a friend?

So, I have a friend. And her life has been and is radically different from mine. I helped her start a blog because she feels she might have some interesting stories to tell. So how about you give her a look over at My Jacked Up Life? (Note: Angela likes to cuss. You are warned.)

Here’s a picture of us back in the summer, at a party. Good times!

In the next day or two, the voting on round #2 will end for patron saint. Like hoodia in your inbox, these polls will not be available much longer. Have you voted?

Here are look at the matches in progress:

• Gabrielle Union is pretty handily beating Sporty Spice. Not really close there.
• Storm and Rogue are in a nail-biter with only one vote separating them.
• Newcomer and late entry Rachel Bilson is trailing behind veteran Kate Winslet.
• And in an upset I could not have imagined, Rachael Ray is going down to Elisha Cuthbert? It’s still close and could swing either way, but that one shocks me.

Voting continues until tomorrow for two of the battles and Monday for the other two. Round #3 will get underway promptly on Tuesday night. Stay tuned!

…but sometimes, it happens anyway.

Let me tell you about Ray Ray and how several formative years of my childhood were ruined. In the time line of my life, I believe this story falls shortly after the story of ‘Penny’.

It was a typical sunny summertime day in south Saint Louis. Kids playing, running around being stupid, being kids. But something goes terribly wrong this day. Some kind of altercation occurs between my older sister and Ray Ray. I don’t know the details. Why would I? I’m like twelve or thirteen and couldn’t care less. But she goes to get a knife. She proceeds to slash his bicycle tires. And apparently, the sins of the sister will visited upon the little brother when the sister suddenly moves out (on an unrelated issue).

Ray Ray had it out for me. With the neighborhood bully being at least four years older than me and mean as hell and ready to vent it on someone, life was about to suck for little Patrick. And it did. For the first time ever, here’s what happened.

On at least three separate occasions, Ray Ray had fun terrorizing me. Across the alley and down a half block was an empty building. On one day, Ray Ray and his friend pulled me down to a small alcove in the back of that building. There I was forced to eat grass, all the while being told that if I didn’t eat the grass, I’d get my ‘ass kicked’. So I ate grass. I guess at some point, they got bored and left. Not so bad.

Winter provided a partial reprieve. In a big thick coat, I could not be easily discerned. Until one day when Ray Ray figured out it was me. Then, I got pelted with snowballs while running for my life. (How did he always have friends around when he was such an asshole?)

On a third occasion that next spring, I ran into Ray Ray about a block away from my house. On this occasion, there was some more grass consumption and then I was forced to yell obscenities about my mother at the top of my lungs or once again have my ‘ass kicked’. I did what I had to survive.

All the time these incidents were happening, I couldn’t go anywhere. I stayed in my house or in my yard because they were safe. The yard, at least, was in running distance of the house. That fear of going places has haunted me for years. Even now, I’d just rather stay home. I’m sure a small part of that is Ray Ray’s terror.

The happiest day of my life that next year was my mom telling me we were moving a couple miles away. It was sheer joy. It was far enough to be a different neighborhood and finally, I could walk on the streets again and not be in sheer terror. It was awesome.

Which I suppose brings us to the title of this post. All these years later, I’ve forgiven pretty much everyone who ever wronged me. Really. Except Ray Ray. I hope he’s dead and I hope he died painfully, preferably something like ass cancer or maybe a gunshot wound to the chest that took seven hours to bleed out. I would love to find his grave. I would dance on it and then knock over the headstone. I might even urinate on it, but only if I had to go. I know that all sounds horrible, but that son of a bitch made part of my childhood a living hell and I only wish him bad things.

I hope someday I’ll be a big enough man to forgive Ray Ray. But that day is not today…

I realized a couple weeks ago that I have a bit of an Internet addiction. Not Internet porn, mind you, just the regular Internet. I obsess over this blog all the time. So, to help break that habit, I decided to stop using the laptop upstairs.

Why?

The laptop upstairs is too convenient. Instead of doing things around the house, I end up checking the blog for comments or changing the sidebar. So, I moved all my documents to the downstairs desktop PC and now I work from here.

This machine is an older Dell PC I bought back in 2001, I think. Since using it again, I’ve noticed it has some problems I need to fix. The hard drive is literally a 30GB model which was fine in 2001, but now, not that big. I have about 1GB of room left on it. The other thing is that the power supply is failing. It still works, but it’s making those noises every geek knows. Replacement is usually exceptionally easy.

Anyway, enjoy the holiday if you’re off. Sorry if you’re not.