Patrick Says

So, the nominations are still open for the official patron saint of this blog. Right now, the nominees are:

• Rachael Ray
• Rogue (comic book version)
• Storm (comic book version)
• Marguerite Moreau
• Missi Pyle
• Just added: Amy Lee of Evanescence
• Just added: Kate Winslet
• Just added: Elisha Cuthbert
• Just just added: Adriana Lima

I’ll leave the nominations open until October 31st. Voting will be the entire month of November with the winner announced on December 1st. And remember…if you don’t get involved in the process, you can’t complain about the results!

At my work today, we’re having an internal audit. They are fun…if your definition of fun involves pain and possibly torture (and maybe it does…we don’t judge here at Patrick Says). But whee! It’s over tomorrow, there’s that.

Let me give a couple phrases you should not be saying during an internal audit. If you say either of these phrases more than once, it’s probably not going well:

• ‘Oh yeah. I can explain that.’ - You’ve just been questioned on something and the explanation is going to take more than 60 seconds. Wrap it up quickly, my friend. The BS detectors with auditors start going off at the 90-second mark.
• ‘Just so you know, before it comes up…’ - You’ve got something so bad coming up that you’re trying to soften the blow. Good luck. You can pad it all you want, but the auditor is still going to hand you your ass at the end of the day.

I don’t think I’ve used either phrase more than once…okay…maybe twice. If it goes bad and I don’t make it and you see me somewhere next week selling plasma lifts, please give me a reassuring pat on the back and a ‘I feel ya, dog’. It’s the right thing to do.

I’m not sure what to make of this picture I saw over at The Superficial.

It’s Britney…cleaning a table with Windex…in a bikini???
(As usual, click picture for a larger version.)

I need a patron saint for this blog!

What is a patron saint, you might be asking? Well, the short of it is that a patron saint watches over and/or protects a certain group of people. In my case, it’d be more like a mascot, but not a dog or jaguar. And since I love pop culture so much, it HAS to be a celebrity. The decision of who to make our patron saint will not be easy. I want someone unique. Maybe someone who doesn’t win all kinds of stuff. Like Jessica Alba needs yet another mention on some web site. Or worse, Hayden Panettiere.

The floor is open to nominees. You, my readers, should feel like you contribute, so please nominate your favorite exotic or unique celebrity and I will shoot them down or maybe, second that nomination!

I have two right off the bat for nomination…

First, this goes against everything I just said, but darn it, I like Rachael Ray, so she’s nominated. She came from semi-humble beginnings and didn’t have the world handed to her like that evil Giada wench.

The second is Marguerite Moreau. She has had small parts in about every television show I have ever watched. And she talks oddly…which is hot.

Anyway, make your nominations soon!