Patrick Says

This is great!

So, all you people who bought the iPhone and said ‘hey, I don’t want to use AT&T, I’ll just hack it’. GUESS WHAT? Apple is going to turn your phone into a $600 brick! Congratulations! You screwed yourself!

And you know what the best part of it all is? Even Leo Laporte, the self-anointed buttkisser of all things Apple is angry with Apple. Leo Laporte, who would buy a bathroom sink from Apple and tell you how much better they are than any other sink is mad at Apple. LEO is angry with Apple! Unbelievable!

Sometimes, life is good and sometimes, life is very good.

(For the record, Apple is completely justified in bricking phones. You agreed to AT&T only and you BROKE the rules. Suck it up and take your punishment.)

So, something happened the other day at work that should have been friggin’ awesome, but instead turned to horror. Please learn from my suffering…heed the warnings presented.

The workday was over and I was heading home. I walked out to my car and prepared to get in. Now across the alley from my office building is an apartment complex. And on this apartment complex, all the balconies face outward, which is weird. Anyway, I was glancing up as a patio door opened on one of the balconies. Out steps what looks like a woman in her bra carrying an empty cardboard box.

At this point, it’s up in the air. It could be a 22-year-old underwear model who likes walks on the beach and talking about her feelings or it could be your grandmother. Guess what? It was somebody’s grandmother. She could not have been a day under 65. Her hair was huge and afro-like. She looked a bit like Sideshow Bob…

I could not get in my car fast enough…

A Friday’s Feast? Why not?

Appetizer
How are you today?
Fine. Thanks. And you?

Soup
Name 3 television shows you watch on a regular basis.
The Office, Scrubs & Family Guy.

Salad
What’s the scariest weather situation you’ve experienced?
The summer storm of 2006. It destroyed a lot of stuff, took down power for millions and smashed a dumpster into a lady at Busch Stadium.

Main Course
If you could wake up tomorrow morning in another country, where would you want to be?
I like this one just fine.

Dessert
What do you usually wear to sleep?
Boxers and a T-shirt.

Is this a return to this feature? Don’t count on it.

Have you ever noticed that the phrase ‘brain trust’ is hardly ever used for its intended purpose? Here’s the definition according to dictionary.com:

brain trust (noun) - a group of experts from various fields who serve as unofficial consultants on matters of policy and strategy.

Whenever I’ve seen ‘brain trust’ used, it’s almost always been used in a sarcastic way. You are far more likely to hear this phrase, ‘I’d love to see the f*cking brain trust that wrote this piece of sh*t’, than you are to hear this phrase, ‘this document is amazing; who is the brain trust behind it?’.

So, I have this Palm Treo 650. I love this phone. I love this phone so much I would consider taking photos of it and rotating them in a digital frame. But since the cellular service got cut off, I don’t have the need for it. So I tried (twice) to sell it on eBay, but couldn’t get the minimum I wanted. So last week, I opted to try Craigslist because I’d heard good things about it.

I listed my phone. The first thing I noticed was that Craigslist will tell you not to take checks or money orders. Apparently, everyone on Craigslist is trying to rip you off. So I insisted on cash. I was overwhelmed at the response I got. At least seven people emailed me about buying the phone. It was sold the next day. And I got cash. All in all, I highly recommend Craigslist. Another bonus…NO FEES!