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I Can’t Drive…

So, The Wife is pretty weird about automobile travel with me. I never get to drive the car when she’s riding. Seriously. When she was in labor with both of our children, she drove the car to the hospital. I think at some points, she actually had to pull over and wait through a contraction, but still I wasn’t allowed to drive.

It’s ridiculous.

So, here are some scenarios, just to give you some perspective, in which I probably wouldn’t be allowed to drive the automobile with her in it:

  • The Wife could have a bullet wound in her left torso, be bleeding profusely, and I wouldn’t get the keys.
  • She could be blinded from getting baby powder thrown in her eyes during a bloodsport match and still…no keys for me.
  • She could have a jousting pole impaled in her right leg, the one that works the gas pedal, and I’m the passenger seat.
  • Both arms could be dismembered from rival gangs having sword fights waiting for concert tickets for 50 Cent and she would just steer with her knees.

I never get to drive…

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 4th, 2007 at 3:40 pm and is filed under Randomness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

2 Responses to “I Can’t Drive…”

  1. psychospazmom Says:
    August 4th, 2007 at 5:25 pm

    You know, she has reasons, to not let you drive. I’ve ridden with you. I’m just saying!

  2. The Wife Says:
    August 4th, 2007 at 11:23 pm

    It’s not that bad! I let you drive last week after is had been heavily sedated and didn’t complain! And just for the record, there was no pulling over while I was in labor. I drove straight through to the hospital. If I lost my vision or a limb I might let you drive!