The Things You Tell People…
A funny thing happened earlier this evening at Sam’s Club. The family and I went to get some groceries and household items. As we went to checkout and get rung up, I noticed the bill was very high and I remarked that baby formula was very expensive with the manager who happened to be checking us out.
He mentioned he had a baby and we discussed the compulsory how-old-is-yours/how-old-are-mine checks. And then something strange came out of my mouth. I said that we had tried breastfeeding, but it didn’t work out.
Now obviously, I didn’t have to tell the manager that. I would venture to say I wouldn’t share that kind of information with an associate, much less a stranger. But for some strange reason, in my head, I had to justify that we tried the breastfeeding to this manager so I didn’t feel like a bad parent.
When we got to the car and I told the wife about this, (she had taken the kids to get a soda when the original conversation took place) she completely understood and even said she’d had the same feelings on some occasions.
I blame the lactivists. If you don’t know what that means, look it up. Some of these lactivists are so militant that they equate formula with child abuse. I have two words for these people: the first word starts with the letter ‘f’ and rhymes with ‘duck’ and the second word is ‘you’.
I can remember when my wife made that first formula bottle when our first child was getting dehydrated, the milk wasn’t ‘coming in’ and she was standing over the sink, crying, making that bottle. There are not a lot of moments of helplessness worse than that. She felt like a bad mother.
And she’s not. I doubt there is a mother who loves her two boys more than my wife. So screw off, you lactivists. You know what, formula helps a lot of people who can’t breastfeed. Most, if not all, mothers want to breastfeed, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. It’s not child abuse, so stop making moms feel bad.
June 17th, 2007 at 11:53 pm
Yeah!
June 18th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Word, Patrick. Word.
June 18th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
I’m all for breastfeeding, but I agree. Most parents do what they think is best for their children. I know one mother who chose to bottlefeed because she knew that she’d feel too exhausted, tied down and resentful if she breastfeed. Formula is way, way better today than ever before. Oh – and this is a true story of these Lactivists – I have a friend who adopted. When her baby was about 4-5 months old, she was out somewhere and gave the baby a bottle. A woman walked up to her and said “If you really loved your baby, you’d be breast feeding.” My friend was so shocked that she couldn’t even formulate a response. I think I’d have gone with “And if your mama had loved you, she’d have taught you some manners, be-yotch.”
June 18th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
I can’t understand why some people have to equate morality with everything, this time, breastfeeding, when in fact it has no connection or whatsoever.
June 19th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Moms should not feel bad about other people opinions or atitudes. Moms should follow their instinct and be happy about it. Oh, yeah and other people: “duck you” !
Best wishes.
June 20th, 2007 at 7:06 pm
We are non-breastfeeding moms supporters. =)
August 25th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
For those who seriously gave breastfeeding an honest try & had complications that caused it to be unsucessful, formula is a God-send. I’ve been there, used it, got over it, got on with my life, helped others through it, encouarged some to use it. But for the 90% of bottle feeders who think that God’s babyfood packaging is too “sexual,” that being attached to your babies is “too restrictive,” who are offended by the “Mammy” image from the antebellum South, who can’t give up their party nights, or any other number of LAME excuses for not trying, not seeking support or assistance and grab for the breastmilk substitue with one hand & the state WIC program to pay for it with the other, I say…it is neglect.