Patrick Says

I went to Walgreens this morning to get some soda for the office. If I purchase it at Walgreens, it’s like a couple bucks for 12 cans. If I buy from the vending machines, it’s $1.25 per bottle. So it pays to get the soda at the Walgreens.

So, I’m on way to the soda area when what should I come across but a bag of Boston Baked Beans. And this isn’t the little box or the slightly bigger box. This is a bag and the bag is THE SIZE OF MY HEAD. I grabbed it and ran as fast as I could for the checkout. It’s now 1:44pm and I am sick of Boston Baked Beans. Ugh…

Three-year-olds are a handful. I’m not even kidding. The older one, just now three, never shuts up. I don’t mean that in a bad way. In fact, I often engage him in conversations to foster imagination and the seeking of knowledge. No. I mean that even when not talking with him, he’s 100mph. And on top of that, he has to help you with every task. It’s almost like someone we all know…

That’s right, Clippit.

Clippit really got a bad wrap. He’s not that bad. Like my son, he just wants to help. Go turn him back on in your Office application. And tell him you love him. Clippy needs to hear that every so often…

Okay, so every now and then, I find the need to pass on knowledge to those who come after me. So, here is some of that knowledge.

If you ever sign up for the military, they will send you to boot camp for training. It’s hard. It’s probably one of the hardest things you will ever do. But there are ways to make it easier. Here is one such way.

Early in basic training, your instructor will put all of you in a room. He will ask you some odd questions. One of these questions may be: “Who likes to bowl?” Whatever you do, DO NOT raise your hand. Sit quietly. He may ask again, changing the question slightly. Resist the urge and here’s why.

There is not a bowling team in basic training. There aren’t any bowling shoes or balls. There are lanes on the base, but (and this is the important part) YOU AREN’T GOING TO BE SEEING THEM! Let the other guys raise their hands. What they’ve all just volunteered for is the bowl you will be seeing…the toilet bowl. Latrine crew, baby!

My recruiter warmed me before I went to basic training. Now I’ve warned you. Go for the laundry detail. I took that one. It was okay, but me and the other guy on the detail accidentally turned everyone’s underwear pink. It happens.

(Also, Blogger’s pictures seem to be broken. Wonder what’s up with that.)

I don’t normally do memes, but I love music.

Stolen from Paperback Writer!

Thanks!

Of all the bands and artists in your collection, of which one do you own the most albums?
I actually own very few albums. I download music as needed or use subscription based services. If I owned albums, I would have every Beatles album possible.

What was the last song you listened to?
‘I Wish I Had An Angel’ by Nightwish, my new favorite band.

What’s in your CD player right now?
The Dixie Chicks, I think?

What are your favorite instruments?
I like a good bass line, but you can’t beat the electric guitar. Cow bell always good. And the sound of one voice with a piano backing can knock you on your butt.

Who’s your favorite local artist/band?
Not much into the local scene. My favorite band you probably never heard of is Cowboy Mouth.

What was the last show you attended?
Journey / Def Leppard. I love me some Def Leppard good old-fashioned rock’n'roll.

What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
Easily, any Cowboy Mouth show. It’s like a religious experience without all the religion. It’s Sofa King amazing it will blow your mind.

What’s the worst band you’ve ever seen in concert?
Kristeen Young is an artist no one ever heard unless you lived in Saint Louis from about April - July 1998. She was experimental and god awful.

What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
That’s kind of a dumb question. I don’t care about the band. I care about the music.

What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
Eh…what?

What show are you looking forward to?
I have nothing coming up…sadly.

What is your favorite band shirt?
Def Leppard, Hysteria tour, 1988. I have no chance whatsoever of fitting it again.

What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
Weezer. They seem down-to-earth.

What musician would you like to be in love with you for a day?
If I were not a happily married man, I would say Amy Lee of Evanescence.

What was your last musical “phase” before you wised up?
What do you mean by ‘wised up’? All my phases were real and genuine.

Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Solo Ozzy all the way. ‘Crazy Train’ is one of the greatest rock’n'roll songs…ever.

Did you know that filling out this meme makes you a music geek?
Yes I did. That’s why I stole it.

What was the greatest decade for music?
There has always been good music and bad music in every decade.

What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
‘South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut’

Who is your favorite artist who is much better live than on a recording?
None. Studio albums sound good because they record each song 20 times.

Do you have a hidden desire to be a popular musician?
Doesn’t everybody?

Have you ever used drugs to enhance the music experience?
No.

What was the last song you heard that gave you a chill?
No clue.

Where would you be without music?
Bored silly.

Tag! You’re it!

I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but blogging with WordPress is not easy. Well, if I’m being honest, it’s not hard, but the nuances are killing me. Let’s take this spacing problem.

If you look above right here, you’ll notice a half space between paragraphs. I like paragraphs a lot, but to get the desired full space, I have to use bracket-b-r-space-slash-bracket. See…

That is annoying. Does somebody know how to fix this? Anyone? Please…