Patrick Says

What is the Friday Feast?

Appetizer
If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have?
Something on web design. They are super expensive. I can find computer administrator and networking magazines for free or less, but not web design.

Soup - Describe your living room (furnishings, colors, etc.).
Red couch, red loveseat and red ottoman. Entertainment center with decent size TV, DVD, TiVo, etc. A boatload of toys on the bottom shelves.

Salad - What does the shape of a circle make you think of?
A hole in the ground. Don’t know why.

Main Course - Name 3 things in your life that you consider to be absolute necessities.
My TiVo, my laptop and my family.

Dessert - What was the last really funny movie you watched?
I think the ‘40-Year Old Virgin’ was the last. ‘Talledega Nights’ looks hilarious, but we’ve been too poor to go to the movies lately.

Okay, so the wife and I went to the Baby Doctor’s Office on Tuesday. Made some observations I thought I should share with you all.

• There is an outlet by the children’s toybox/bench in the waiting room. This outlet has no plug covers. In fact, this outlet has no faceplate. IT’S BY THE TOYS in a waiting room for kids. Why not just give the kids metal knives as they come in so they can really party.
• In the actual exam room, there is a poster about doing breast self-exams. And I notice the woman on the poster (she’s drawn, not a photo) is not very attractive. And it occurs to me that they probably did this on purpose. If she looked like Jessica Alba, guys would be stealing that poster every other day. I looked around on the net and found the graphic below. This is more like it. She’s hot. Good hair, big hips and the tramp stamp even.

A Baby Helmet
Originally uploaded by PatrickD88.

My wife found this in a catalog…obviously a catalog for paranoid parents. This is ridiculous. Your kids head is built to take a fall!!!

What’s the Friday Feast?

Appetizer
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood.
I had a four-story Death Star for my Star Wars figures. The first level had a trash compactor with a plastic snake and foam pieces for trash. The second level had a command center. The third level had a retractable bridge and the fourth level had a huge ‘blow up planets’ gun. The back had an elevator that connected all three floors. You can see it here.

Soup
If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?
Healthcare easily. Heath toffee bars would be my second choice.

Salad
Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?
I can’t pin down a number. It’s a lot.

Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?
That every person is capable of the kindest act possible and the most sinister, sometimes at the very same time.

Dessert
Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a “good deed.”
I can’t think of anything, but to be honest, the opportunities don’t come up that often.

What is the Friday Feast?

Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.
Jason Lee. I will see a movie simply because he’s in it. I love his delivery. (Yes, I know he’s on a hit show now, but he should have been making Jim Carrey money years ago.)

Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.
I masticate at least three or four times a day, but it’s important and fun.

Salad
What is something inanimate that you’ve given a name to (such as a pet rock)?
I named my iPod Shuffle. I call her Esmeralda. I plug it in to sync and Esmeralda appears in the list of sources.

Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?
How in the world does one take one color and match it to something as complex as a personality? That’s like asking what flavor is the galaxy. It’s ridiculous. There aren’t enough crayons in your box-with-a-sharpener Crayola to paint me. When I was in my twenties and slamming things (guitar, telephones, countless Genesis systems, CD’s, a TV once, many many other things…) against walls in frustration and anger, I was red. When my first girlfriend broke my heart in high school and I drove home crying in a Mercury Capri, I was wussy yellow. I could go on and on, but like I said, the question is ridiculous.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: The thought of changing careers at this point in my life is so scary, but necessary.