Patrick Says

I thought I’d reflect a little on Father’s Day as it just ended. I’m not gonna rehash my own dad problems. That’s been blogged about already and you can go find it if you want to. But rather, I’d like to focus on the dad I am and would like to be.

My dadness hasn’t come into play much yet. I think it really kicks in during the school age years and we’re three years from that. It’s during that time that I’ll have to do tough jobs like ‘laying down the law’ and ’setting rules and boundaries’. That should be a challenge since I tend to not like confrontation. But I would like to have well-balanced kids, so I’ll have to find that medium ground of not too strict and not too lenient.

At least I’ll have my wife there to help. Unless she’s still PO’ed about the beard hairs on the sink. But believe me, we are not going there on this blog…ever.

Well, I didn’t want to be a liar and I said I would participate and it is June 14th. Happy International Webloggers’ Day to all. Click the blue link in the sidebar and find out all about it and maybe you can play next year.

So, I’ve got a couple things to talk about…

Anybody watching ‘Last Comic Standing’ on NBC? This show is getting stupider with every episode. The whole thing has got to be staged. And I hate with a passion that they let veteran comedians perform. Bill Dwyer? Seriously?!? Bill Dwyer? That guy has been around for years. Why not let Chris Rock and Jon Stewart on the show and make it a real battle royale? American Idol won’t let you on if you’ve signed a contract…why does this show? Don’t advertise it as ‘new and fresh talent’ and pull out ten-year veterans!

Enough ranting…how about something upbeat? The Bush Administration and its lackeys are pulling down their pants and whizzing all over your right to privacy and we are all sitting around doing nothing. The Department of Justice pulled all the ISP’s into its office and asked them to store EVERYTHING their users do for two years. And of course, they pulled out the big guns: “During Friday’s meeting, Justice Department officials passed around pixellated (that is, slightly obscured) photographs of child pornography to emphasize the lurid nature of the crimes police are trying to prevent, according to one source.”

Of course they did. I, like every sane individual on the planet, find child porn to be pretty much the most heinous thing ever created. But to hide behind this and the ever-popular tactic of ‘fighting terrorism’ is pure BS. Since 9/11, our civil liberties have been eroding and anyone who raises a question is branded ‘un-American’. If you want to do something, go to the Electronic Frontier Foundation and take some action…while you can still express yourself.

“Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.” - Ben Franklin

Alright, so there was nothing upbeat in the post. Get over it. Go fight for something.

Sent to me by a co-worker. I found it amusing and it pretty much applies to anyone who falls under the heading of ’support staff’.

Office Sarcasm by Secretaries

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it’s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to enquire how it’s going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don’t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I’m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it’s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus cheque you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I’m not here for the money anyway!

I found this link somewhere. It’s from a guy who wrote an article about the spiders of Vietnam. The pictures are breathtaking. The detail and closeness will probably creep the heck out of my wife (she doesn’t like spiders), but they are an amazing species of color and texture. Check it out here.