An ongoing stiff-n-painful back/neck issue makes sleep uncomfortable and I have a lot on my mind right now as well. But I can say, thanks to all the IRS crap and family politics crap we’ve been through in the last few years, I SO feel your pain. Some words of suggestion (maybe not as strong as ‘words of advice’ but only a little less so):
1) learning to set boundaries with our family members is possibly the single hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But it is SO worth it. I have watched others NOT set boundaries with their family members and they went right into the ground with those family members when those family members crashed and burned. Our sense of obligation to our own blood is a potent instinct. But try to put this into terms of self preservation. You’re no good to anyone now, or in the future, if one family member pulls you down. Do whatever it takes to set those limits. You’ll get pushback, HARD pushback. I’ve been told, to my face, that I’m a failure as a daughter, a failure as a family member and a failure as a human being. By my own mother. Repeatedly. But having set those boundaries, and having heard it all (several times), I can safely say that riding out that roller coaster was better than flying into the ground at Mach 2. Because that’s where she was headed. And that’s where she landed about a year ago. And she’s still picking up the pieces. This is not a “good deeds go unpunished”. This is “sometimes family members will turn and bite the hand that feeds them.” When it happens repeatedly, we only have ourselves to blame because we keep volunteering for something that has burned us already. Do whatever it takes to let her know that her financial health is her responsibility now. Maybe start with baby steps and small boundaries so that you can get used to the idea, but keep going with it. Because no one will willingly give up a free ride. We have to cut those ties ourselves.
2) Of all the bills I have right now, which range from credit card debt to old collection items (and now a renewed argument with Chase), the IRS has been the absolute most reasonable to work with. Call them, tell them you made mistakes with filing, and/or that you can’t pay everything all at once, and get on an installment plan. Setting up our installment plan with them was about as difficult as falling off a log. They’ll ask you what amount per month you think you can afford, (and it can be a very small amount compared to what you owe), and when you can start. You can also file corrected returns, even after you’ve set up that installment plan, and perhaps revise your amount owed. If nothing else, yes we all make mistakes on our taxes (some of us have made BIG mistakes on our taxes). But if you’re up front with it and work in good conscience with the IRS, they’re actually fairly easy to work with.
I know you’re feeling clobbered right now. But hang in there. You can find ways to deal with Mom and you can work out something with the IRS such that you CAN deal with everything that is on your plate. Just break it down into smaller bite-sized pieces. Hope that helps.
Feeling WAY stressed out right now. Kinda want to just get it off my chest. Long story short, we “claimed” some winnings on the lottery for my mother so that she would be able to keep her medicare coverage and monthly disbility income in 2016. Taxes due (for DH & me) last yr at income tax time were 12K+. We obviously didn’t have any $$ to pay them as the winnings were gone. Used to fix her car (she could have purchased a newer, nicer one for less), get DH & myself out of check loan hell and get rid of another bill, buy some very needed furniture for the house she rents & purchase a house for my mother. (Due to some MAJOR renovations she “required” it is STILL under contruction – she isn’t living in it yet- and we are also footing those remodel bills ). Borrowlab.com — borrow money online, I know them!! Sooo, when we filed taxes this yr, I actually expected a big chunk of a “refund” to be put towards the tax bill. WRONG!! Somehow, DH’s job took out taxes on an income of aprox $30,000 less than he makes. He didn’t even claim all the exemptions we had on the W4! WTH??!! And subsequently, we owe AGAIN , aprox another $3000.
We make pretty good money, but this is killing us. Not just financially but mentally & emotionally. Overstressed, overwhelmed and emotionally spent.
Guess we’ll just have to pick up the pieces an regroup.
No good deed goes unpunished huh?
It’s nice to think you’re winning by getting a good deal at the car lot or furniture, but it’s really all those little choices that make or break you! I think the only reason I can resist drive thru fever is because there aren’t any on my commute. And when push comes to shove, I don’t think I’ve ever had anything at McDonalds and thought, “Man, this is so much better than the food I have at home!”
Or it might be because I watched Eddie Murphy’s Raw last night and am still giggling about his mom making “house burgers”
Here we are, raising top quality foods, organic, sustainable, all that jazz, but both the #2 Supersize from McD’s or a Medium Beef-n-Cheddar from Arby’s are potent siren calls. Heck, I can taste ’em right now as I sit here writing this. Proud of you that you resisted the call. I have succumbed in recent days and weeks to that temptation. Maybe I’ll think of you as my role model and virtual courage, the next time I feel The Call.
I worked my 12+ hr shift (that as usual evolved into 13) had a crap day an am going back for more fun and games tomorrow. Yee haw.
Heading home @ 8:30 p.m., I was hungry. I had packed lunch &it was pretty good ….8+ hrs ago….
Boy was that quarter pounder w/cheeses value meal and lg sweet tea calling my name. Beckoning to me, tempting me …
And so……., i went home an ate a microwave pot pie.
I’m kinda proud of myself. I didnt go blow $ when I had plenty of food at home! My mini victory. I was an adult.
1) Maybe dh will finally get to see his mother, even for a short time—It’s been about 18 months and we are worried about her.
2) When it all hit the fan in 2011 we told the other sil and dbil that she had demanded all of dmil’s money and a co-signing to buy a house and a car. She told them both we were lying that she’d never done such a thing and never would. We also laid bets she’d try again in under 2 years. The second sil believed her. Well we’ve just been vindicated. I’ve heard she’s driving a newer car than we drive, and now she’s bought a house.
3) If sil pushes dmil to close the account and insists that it be done we can equally insist that since dmil owes us over $64,000 that yes the account can be closed, but that the check will be made out to dh as a partial payment. That money would pay off our next three debts. But then that would mean we’d not have an ffef for dmil. So we’d have to look at making a budget line item with at least part of that snowball money to put back for that just in case, because no matter what happens if she has a true emergency we need to make certain she is taken care of no matter how angry we are with the sil. Sil will never go for that, although she really has no say in the matter. Perhaps removing dmil’s name off of the account would be the best solution.
On a brighter note the snow has stopped and so far it’s not melted any to cause an icing problem. So things are looking up.
At this point I don’t have a way to put logos on. I am using stamps and various colors of ink by Stazon. However, if I could find a way to do it, that would a whole new avenue of marketing. I will have to talk to dh to see if he has any ideas on that front.
My product costs so far have been low. It would be hard for me to offer coasters at a lower retail price than what I am doing. I am not going to “give” them away (not make any money) and I don’t feel that is what you’re saying. It is just hard to cut it down from $12/set of 4 and $20 for 2 sets. Some people are selling these sets up to $25/set of 4. However I am not having to rent a building, pay employees, etc. In fact, I am probably going to have to go up a little to cover the cost of taking credit/debit cards. I hate to do that but the costs I pay for that will eat in to profit.
Thanks for the input and I will talk to dh about your suggestion.
BTW, my dd’s name is Ashley as well. 😀
but the company I work for has some very generic coasters for the conference room. I went to your FB page and they are very nice! I was wondering if you had the ability to put a company logo on them? That might be something you could look into doing locally… making a few samples and leaving it with the receptionist and whoever is in charge of buying marketing materials. Or a free set (not sure what your costs are) for hair salons with your info on the bottom (they love free stuff and will give out cards on your behalf!!). Talk to the high end restaurants in your area and see if they would be interested in them at a bulk rate.
I can’t remember if you are working on consignment with stores, but that’s an idea too, although they’ll take a lovely chunk out for themselves! I know for my quilts, it’s 40%, so prices reflect that.
Good luck! They’re really nice!
No, I have not looked into etsy for myself. I have looked at other’s work there and there are some beautiful crafts done there.
Currently I have my stuff priced to make a nice profit but still be reasonably priced. I will probably have an adjustment for accepting cc’s strictly because of the fees they charge. I am not sure how much work is involved in it so that is a bit of a hold up … you know, making that commitment. Do have stuff listed there and what is your experience?
I am accepted into 3 craft shows, each a week apart beginning this Saturday. Each show is a Saturday only show. Please pray for me that I can make new friends, gain new/potential customers, and actually fill a niche out there in the marketplace.
I am boxing up the sets and getting the boxes labeled. I had to quit for the night … my back has been bothering me the last few days.
Please pray for good weather …. specifically NO rain. I don’t mind it being cool. We have rain predicted for the weekend and I am concerned about the turn out if it does rain.
If you would like to see my work, take a look at facebook and if you like my work, please “like” my page and pass it on. I do take orders and ship.
dh surprised me this evening saying he got me signed up with Square. The equipment won’t be in in time for this show but for the next one it will. I am excited about a new payment method …. debit cards, but I really have qualms about taking cc’s. I don’t want it to seem I am encouraging debt. Need prayers on that part. Due to the costs of using the equipment, I may have to go up slightly on my products. I’ll talk it over with dh to see how much he thinks it should go up. He is pretty good at that since he does it all day at work.
Good night for now.